Blank Slate

The fresh fallen snow reminds me of a blank slate. It is beautiful and unmarred by anything. I love how pretty it looks before anyone walks or drives on it. Each day is a blank slate too, a chance to start over. No matter what you did yesterday, today is a chance to start over, a chance to do the right thing. Yesterday’s choices don’t have to define who you are today. Maybe you yelled at your kids, your husband, your parents, the grocery store checker, the car in front of you, the car behind you…it doesn’t matter, today you get a fresh start to do it right. I keep thinking of something I said to my kids last night. It wasn’t bad but it is still something I wish I hadn’t said. Today is a new day to watch my words closer, to choose nice and good words, words that build up and not to tear down. We are only given one life to live and I want to live a life of no regrets. Today, I can start over, treat others like I want to be treated, chose to make the right choices with what I eat and whether or not I exercise, yesterday’s choices don’t matter today. Just because I made a mistake yesterday doesn’t mean I have to repeat the same mistake today or tomorrow.  Today is a day to spend my time doing the things that need to be done, not just flitting my time away. What areas of your life do you need a blank slate in? What things do you do over and over again, even though you don’t want to? “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Romans 7:15

Today is a new day, you get a new start. Stop repeating yesterday’s mistakes and start living a new life today.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

I don't know if you can see the heart in this bottom picture or not, but it reminds me that their is beauty in everything, including snow melting. Let's look for the good, the beauty in all things.

Waiting on the storm

I sat around all day today waiting on a storm that didn’t come. It was a complete and total waste of my time. And, before you start judging me, it’s not like I didn’t do things, I did, and I was super productive with my time. But I was distracted and not as focused as I could have been. Or rather I was focused on the wrong things. I have been worried about being stranded in the mountains, with the kids, BY MYSELF! I was so focused on being stuck in for the next few days I didn’t realize I could have gone out today. So, instead, I waited on the storm that never came.

Have you ever done that? We sit and stew and ponder and wonder…what if? Then we follow the rabbit trail…

And it never happens.

Yet we stewed over it for a day…

Or two…

Or a week…

Got ourselves into a real tizzy…

Yet, it never happened!

Why do we do this? Why do we waste our energy on things that they don’t need to be wasted on? Why do we worry ourselves to death on what ifs?

I have to tell you, I am completely exhausted.

 Emotionally and physically. I look at all the energy I wasted yesterday and today on the storm and what I was going to do…and yet nothing.

It’s not that it’s not coming, it just hasn’t come yet.

And truly, what am I so worried about? We have food, clothes, power, heat, a gas fireplace so even if the power goes out we will be totally fine.

I had lost my perspective. I tend to do that when I am overstressed or overtired and right now I simply am both. I was choosing to focus on what I couldn’t do, instead of what I could do. I was choosing to worry when I should have been praising God that the storm hasn’t hit! And, it’s not like I didn’t have choices this weekend, I did. We could have gone to my sister’s for the weekend, but I was worried about not being able to get back here at the end of the weekend and I want us to stay on a somewhat normal school routine. (worried, worried, worried!)

And didn’t I say we were going to retreat in the mountains for two weeks? What better way to retreat than to be stranded, LOL!

What about you? What are you focusing on? Are you focused on what you can’t do? Or what you can? Don’t lose your perspective. If you are focusing on the negatives, found the positives, they are there, in the middle of the greatest storms there is still something positive you can be focused on.

“Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:27

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” Matthew 6:34

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

Gifted?!

We all have gifts, whether we recognize it or not. In the Christian circle they are called spiritual gifts and the Bible tells us that everyone gets them and you are to use them to bring glory to God. I can hear you now, you don't think you have any special gifts and I understand and have been there. As I have gotten older and am learning to listen to the Lord more, I am recognizing what my true gifts are. I am still trying to figure out how to utilize them to the best of my ability, to His glory. If you had asked me when I was younger what my gifts are I would have said, "Well, I love little kids so I must be gifted with kids." A few years later I would have told you that I was gifted to teach little kids. As I look back and reflect on my life so far I would still say I am gifted with kids and I love to be around them. Some days I would not say I am a gifted teacher, but I am teaching my children so I need to work harder at this task that has been set before me! I would also say that I love to encourage people and have been told that I am gifted with encouragement. I have always loved sending people encouraging notes in the mail, and if this is my gift, I am currently failing at it as I don't do that anymore. Obviously there are other ways to encourage people and I like to think that I am doing that, but I would still say I am not utilizing it as well as I could be.  One other thing that I really enjoy doing and makes me happy is serving and helping other people. I always offer to help when I know someone needs help and sometimes I am taken up on that and other times I am not. But, I truly enjoy helping and it makes me so happy to be able to do so.

One thing has recently pushed me out of my comfort zone and I am currently exploring and praying about, is if I am a gifted writer. I have NEVER thought that I was and I still don't, but I have been told in the last 3 weeks at least 5 times by 5 different people that I am. I am not counting Matt in this as he's told me that since I have started this blog, but of course I didn't believe him as I thought he was only trying to be encouraging. I don't handle compliments well and don't particularly know how to respond. One of my current professors was one of the people who have told me that I was gifted with writing. So, since I have been told this so frequently recently I am wondering why and what I should do about it. I really love writing this blog, even when I feel that I don't have anything to say. I am not really interested in writing the great American novel...I still don't feel like I have much to say. I would love to be able to make a difference in people's lives. I look at the ladies in Proverbs 31 Ministries and last semester I thought it would be great to be on staff with them and be able to encourage people like they do...but I let that thought slip away. I also look at people like Beth Moore and Karen Kingsbury and what a difference they are making in people's lives and again I would love to be able to do that, I just don't know how and through what medium. I am not a speaker and I don't want to be famous, that's not what I am saying. I truly would love to make an impact on people's lives, serving as Christ would have me serve, for HIS glory, not mine.

So, going back to what I started with, all of us are gifted in some way, Christian or not. I have some friends who I look at and they are great with hospitality and gifts of service and if they ever got turned on to the Lord I can see the great things they could do for Him. What are your gifts?? And don't tell me that you don't have any because YOU DO! Are you using them for His glory or your own glory?? Are you using them at all? I don't know if they are like other things where if you don't use them they go away, but what if they are?? What a waste it would be if you were essentially throwing them away. If you are not sure of your gifts start analyzing what you are good at and what you love doing. Then look for ways that you can use those gifts!! Go out and do big things for God!

Back to America

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy! We are back in the states and have no plans to leave again anytime soon or possibly ever (not going to say never!).

Yesterday was rough but we made it back to the states safely, which I am very thankful for. We had a lot of turbulence on our flights and even with Dramamine I felt sick, but thankfully didn't get sick. Jetlag is no joke and I didn't sleep well last night. I have been awake since three am, but I am so thankful to be back in the states. When we flew into D.C. the passport control guy said "Welcome Home." Let me tell you, in the middle of traveling and after being so homesick and miserable there are no greater words "Welcome Home." If you see me in the next few weeks feel free to say it often and with enthusiasm!

Some things I am excited or at least happy about in the last 19 hours:

All our luggage arrived and in one piece!

The bathroom doesn't smell like a sewer!

We can flush toilet paper!!

We can flush the toilet while someone is in the shower and it is not going to scald them and then immediately freeze them!

I didn't hear my neighbors' kids running up and down the stairs half the night.

Kayla and I went to Target this morning!

Everyone followed the traffic laws, we drove my mini-van and we had no trouble with parking and there was very little traffic!

We bought clothes, boots and groceries all in one place!
We flushed toilet paper at Target too!

The bathrooms in Target were super clean!

Everyone treated us nicely and welcomed us with smiles!

We went to the bank and everything was super efficient and again, we were greeted with smiles and how are you's...and thank you and have a great day!

Kayla picked Chick-fil-a for lunch and it was super yummy!

We were out all morning and I didn't feel like I needed to shower when I got home because we didn't smell like exhaust, cigarette smoke or Greek food.

I am doing a load of laundry and all our dark clothes fit in one load!
I didn't have to drain the washing machine!
I didn't have to drain the dryer!

My kids have been SO HAPPY TODAY!!!! LOTS of laughter!!!

Kayla and I had a girls morning and she kept saying how happy she was to be back in the states! She is literally giddy with excitement.

Everything we have attempted to do today has been easy and fun, even with 4 hours of sleep!

I know these next few weeks are not going to be all rosy and happy but we are off to a great start. The only dimmer on our excitement is that Matt is not with us and we don't yet know our final destination, but this is a short time to be away from Matt and I trust God with our future!

Look for the tiny blessings in your day and chose to focus on them, instead of the things that frustrate and overwhelm you!

 

Organization

It's that time again...the time when all the suitcases are out and we are packing. I was recently talking to some friends and I was saying how much I had to do to prepare for this move and one lady said "Well, don't they (the movers) just come in and pack all your stuff??" Kind of like, "why are you stressing?" Well, yeah, they do. However, I have to know what items are going in my suitcases and what is going in the air shipment and what we can wait months for that we can send in the sea shipment. My child was seriously upset yesterday and told me it was "all overwhelming." Some tasks are overwhelming but if you break them down they become more manageable. I started planning weeks ago for our move. The lists were made and things started getting moved closer to the place they needed to be for the move. However, it's still hard. It's Saturday morning, we fly out in the wee hours of Monday morning and I am looking at 6 suitcases pretty much at weight limit, yet still has space. I have rearranged them again...and I am still looking at 6 heavy suitcases. 

We are all very stressed and handling it differently. There are several things that have made this move harder...we still don't know our final destination...I have to pack pretty much all of the kids school books because we will still be doing school through all of the transitions. We are looking at at least 6 weeks of living out of suitcases and 3-4 months of being in transition waiting for all of our things to arrive.

"Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up." A. A. Milne

I am thankful for the time I have had to organize up to this point. I wouldn't say it's made it easy, but it has made it easier. I couldn't imagine trying to figure out what we need at this point. We are so frazzled that a lot of our thought processes don't make sense! But, it is what it is and we will survive this too. I am looking forward to the time we have in the states before we start the craziness of house hunting. Also, as we continue to organize, rearrange and make sure our suitcases aren't overweight...will you pray for us? We are pretty maxed out and tired, and haven't even started to travel yet.

Tomorrow

This week has been a little wacky as it is mine and the kids last week in Greece. This has caused a tremendous amount of worry and stress for the kiddos. If I am being completely honest I have good days and bad days depending on if I am walking with God, or worrying on my own! The other night I was putting Kayla to bed (yes we still tuck them in and will as long as they let us!), and she looked like she had something on her mind. So I asked her if anything was bothering her. She's like not really. So I pushed her a little bit (she is a stuffer, she stuffs her emotions and is not always willing to share what's on her mind). She then proceeded to ask a million questions about this move and when would we know where we are going (good question, I don't know), what happens if daddy doesn't get this job (another good question)...and on and on she went. I tried to answer her questions as best I could and then reminded her that no matter what tomorrow holds, I know who holds our future and I am positive that we will end up exactly where God wants us. The next morning the song "Tomorrow" came on by Unspoken. 

In the lyrics it says:

 "Don’t know what tomorrow holds

I’m learning how to let it go

Jesus, You are in control

Of my tomorrow, tomorrow

Come and take the fear away

‘Til there’s nothing left but faith

I know You will help me face

My tomorrow, tomorrow"

As this song was playing I said to Kayla "Do you hear the words??" She's like "yeah." So I reminded her and Elijah to remember this lesson! We all have good days and bad days. We all have days where it's hard to face our tomorrows...but we need to remember Who is already there and has everything worked out for us! We need to have faith and trust that no matter what tomorrow holds we can let the fear go. What fear are you holding onto that you need to let go of? What can you change so that you are not dreading your tomorrows?

The lyrics also go on to say:

"I don't wanna  miss this day because it's a gift

I can't miss a chance to leave it in your hands."

Every single day that we are given is a gift and I don't want to take that for granted or miss a chance to leave it in His hands! No matter what you are going through, don't miss the gift of living life to the fullest, each and every day! Fear has no place here, it strangles you and it casts out joy. In the Bible it says over 40 times "Do not fear." So, I am telling you DO NOT FEAR! God has this, whatever "this" is for you. Trust Him, lean on Him, leave your struggles and fears at His feet! It's not easy, especially if you are like me and like to feel in control. I am definitely not in control of our tomorrows and I am perfectly okay with that, since I know Who is in control.

New Year Prayers

I could not be more thankful that 2015 is over and we have started 2016. Normally a New Year is seen as a new beginning and that could not be more true for my family this year. The suitcases are out and we are packing, getting ready for our new adventure. The kids and I will get on the plane in 9 days and will have a few weeks to decompress before we begin our new adventure, wherever that is! I could have fear of the unknown, but I know that my God is bigger than any fear that I can come up with. I am thankful that I can rest in His care and know that He has got this.
I do not make New Year Resolutions anymore, simply because I don't want to get to the end of the year and feel like I have failed. This year I am focusing more on prayer and these are a few of my prayers for the new year:

1) World Peace-I know this sounds cliche' but I truly do want the world to be at peace. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said "Someone must have sense enough to cut off the chain of hate and evil, and this can only be done through love." Let's all do what we can to cut off that chain of hate and show love to others. You never know what people have walked through or is currently going through, watch your tone and do your best to show love and not hate.

2) The leaders of our country-this is an election year and I want the best leader for our country. Unfortunately I do not know who that is at this point. I do know I don't want a president who is going to try and follow people according to their religion (where has our religious freedom gone?) or a president who is against Homeschooling (which is 2 of the candidates). Join me in praying for our country and that the right leader will be obvious...and I know some of you already know who you are voting and pulling for, but I haven't been able to follow things that closely yet.

3) I am praying hard for a friend who is running for senate. I believe in her 100% and know she wants to make a difference and will if elected. I also know that it is going to be an incredibly hard year for her family. Join me in praying for Dinah and her family? And, if you feel led to contribute to her campaign please do so!

4) I am praying for Matt's job that the one he gets will  be a good fit for him and our family.

5) I am praying to be sent to a good community where we can serve.

6) Praying to be led to the right church ^.

7) Praying for a good homeschooling community where the kids can make great friends and I can have some friends too...where we can support each other in our endeavors.

8) I am praying that the move will be good for my kids and they will bounce back to their bubbly happy personalities.

9) I am praying that my school will go well this year, especially through these first few months of transition.

10) I am praying for friends and loved ones who are going through difficult times in their marriages, with their health, their finances.

11) I am praying for a stronger prayer life. This is an area where I am not as strong as I would like to be.

12) I am praying to be the wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter etc that God wants me to be. I want HIS leading on my life, to be completely in His will, doing what He wants with my life.

13) I am praying to be more of a servant. If you know me at all you know I love to help and serve others. Sometimes I forget to take care of myself in the process, but I truly love to give and help others. I am praying that God will open my eyes to areas where I need to work on this. On the other hand, I am praying that I will make my kids more responsible this year. We are to train our kids in the way they should go, to make them capable responsible adults who can take care of themselves. Matt and I were doing a pretty good job of that before we got here and since the kids were so miserable some of that dropped by the wayside. That changes this year as well and I pray that the kids will be receptive to that.

And, if I am being completely honest I am praying for the will power to eat healthier and exercise more...it would be nice to lost about 15 pounds!

My friend Andrea says over on her blog that she wants to pay for someone's "something once a week." This is a wonderful goal and one I would LOVE to adopt, but not sure if that is realistic at this point, but I will certainly keep it in mind as I go through out this year. I hope you will take a minute to hop over to her blog and read this post, she is definitely a mentor to me and it's a great blog post that gets you thinking.

What about you? What are your hopes and prayers for the new year? It's a new year...a new beginning, what do you need to let go of so that you can move on? Fear? Anxiety? A grudge? Leave it in the past, start over. This beginning of the new year is a crossroads. You can choose to hold onto things, or you can let go and start new. Suzanne Eller of The Mended Heart said in her book, "God and His plan for you do not change in the crossroads." This was a profound thought to me and a great reminder that no matter what I am going through God's plan does not change.

"The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18