Weary

 

Weary. Tired. Worn-out. Fatigued. Beat. Spent. Exhausted. Bushed. Drained. Burned out. Done in. All of these words essentially mean the same thing and describe how I feel most days lately. Add in stressed and overwhelmed and that about sums it up. It's a hard feeling and it makes me introspective. I start wondering what do I need to do to stop feeling this way? What should I drop? Can I drop anything? Right now, the answer is no, I can't drop anything...even though I am being pushed to drop a few things. I know I need to but right now I don't see a way. 

So, instead of focusing on what I can't do, I am focusing on what I can do. I am praying a lot, seeking God's direction. I am trying to rest when I can. I am also trying to force myself to slow down a bit, eat better, and find a good time to exercise, so I can take better care of myself. I have taken several breaks lately and even that has not seemed like enough. 

God knew that we would get weary and He has quite a bit to say about it. He gives the best advice, as the two images I made from Isaiah show.  He also tells us in Matthew: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (11:28)." And, another piece of advice from Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." This verse calls me to think on what I am spending time on and if it is indeed good? If not, what can I drop that is contributing to this weariness that is not doing me or anyone else any good? 

Matt and I were recently talking and even though I think I have less on my plate now than before the pandemic, it feels like MORE. For him, it was the same. Do you feel that way as well? It's like my plate has shrunk and I am still trying to do everything I did before and I am just wearing myself into the ground. I think I have pandemic-fatigue (I am making that up, I do not think it is a thing), but my capacity to handle all the things has left. There is just too much going on and not enough downtime and rest. I hope to get to the point (soon) where there is a better balance. But, for now, I continue to pray and seek guidance.

For the last two days there is a song I have been playing on repeat. It is called "My Jesus" by Anne Wilson. You can listen to it here and the lyrics are below.

My Jesus by Anne Wilson

Verse 1

Are you past the point of weary?

Is your burden weighing heavy?

Is it all too much to carry?

Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus

Do you feel that empty feeling

‘Cause shame’s done all its stealing

And you’re desperate for some healing?

Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus

Chorus

He makes a way where there ain’t no way

Rises up from an empty grave

Ain’t no sinner that He can’t save

Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus

His love is strong and His grace is free

And the good news is I know that He

Can do for you what He’s done for me

Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus

And let my Jesus change your life

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Hallelujah, amen, amen

Verse 2

Who can wipe away the tears

From broken dreams and wasted years

And tell the past to disappear?

Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus

And all the wrong turns that you would

Go and undo if you could

Who can work it all for your good?

Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus

REPEAT CHORUS

Tag

Amen

Verse 3

Who would take my cross to Calvary?

Pay the price for all my guilty?

Who would care that much about me?

Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus, oh

Breakdown Chorus

He makes a way where there ain’t no way

Rises up from an empty grave

Ain’t no sinner that He can’t save

Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus

His love is strong and His grace is free

And the good news is I know that He

Can do for you what He’s done for me

Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus

And let my Jesus change your life

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Hallelujah, amen, amen

Tag

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Hallelujah, and let my Jesus change your life

 

Here is the story that inspired this song by Anne. While I am not experiencing the tragedy that Anne experienced, or anything near that magnitude, I am still finding comfort in this song.  I want Jesus to change my life and show me where I have taken on too much. I want to feel His love and know that I am walking the path that He has for me, His will, not my own. I am tired of being weary and worn-out. If you are as well, I hope you will find encouragement in the fact that Jesus went to the cross not just for me, but for you as well. He has always provided my every need and I have no doubt that this season that I find myself in will pass and I will be stronger than ever and closer to Jesus. Why? Because I know He will make a way where there seems to be no way. 

If this post spoke to you in any way and you also find yourself in a season where you are weary and worn-out, let me know, I would be happy to pray for you.