Personal Reflections

I love that so many people use the month of November to reflect on life. I love that we use this month to really reflect and think on what we are thankful for. As I was going about my day yesterday I started thinking about a particular situation that I knew I had worried to death. The funny thing was, I couldn't remember what had happened, the end result.

This really got me to thinking, how many times have I worried, only to have it come to nothing? And, why do I do it? I know God is in control. I also know how often the Bible talks about not worrying.
Have you ever done that? Worried yourself to death, most likely with situations that you have no control over and can't change, only to have it turn out fine? Why do we do this? Why do we stress ourselves out and continue to worry about every little thing.
 
I go through seasons with this. Sometimes I don't worry about anything...I just let things happen and refuse to think about the negative outcomes...and I believe things flow smoother like this. Other times, I worry every tiny little thing to death. I live in a very stressed out state and have the white hairs to prove it. What I can't understand is why I let myself get like this. It's not going to change the circumstances, but when I am doing it it seems so hard to get out. I think at these times I am so wrapped up in myself that I can't see beyond myself or circumstances. I need to focus beyond myself and keep my focus looking up.

Should I even touch on how my kids are in the two situations? Yep, I see my behavior, moods, tones, complaints reflected right back to me. It's like looking in a smaller mirror.

This morning I was listening to music and the song "Blessed" by Martina McBride came on my MP3 player. It has been so long since I have heard this song I had completely forgotten I had it on my MP3 player. It really spoke to me this morning:

I get kissed by the sun each morning
Put my feet on a hardwood floor
I get to hear my children laughing
Down the hall through the bedroom door (SO TRUE!)
Sometimes I sit on my front porch swing
Just soaking up the day
I think to myself, I think to myself
This world is a beautiful place

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day

I have been blessed

 With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

 

Across a crowded room
I know you
Know what I'm thinking
By the way I look at you
And when we're lying in the quiet and
No words have to be said
I think to myself, I think to myself
This love is a beautiful gift

 

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day

I have been blessed

With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

 

When I, when I'm singing my kids to sleep
When I feel you holding me

 

I know, I've been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day

 

I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed, oh yeah
I have been blessed, oh yeah, yeah

 

I have been blessed
I have been blessed
I have been blessed

 

My devotional was along similar lines this morning, I will paraphrase:

"A new day waits in front of you, but already your restless mind is walking you through countless problems and chores left over from yesterday. You feel the negativity crawling up your back like an impending viral cold. Once again, you face the choice of hopeful expectations and thankfulness or despair and complaining. Which one will you choose to feed with your thoughts? To choose thankfulness is really a choice each of us makes. After all, doesn't everyone have issues to deal with in life? Whatever the problem, God asks us to continue to look to him and express a heart of thankfulness. 'Give thank in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus' (1 Thessalonians 5:18)."

 

So, what will you choose? It really is a choice. We have control over the words that come out of our mouth. Will we choose to be uplifting and positive? Or do we choose to spout negativity, complaining about everything, in the hopes of drawing others' attention to ourselves and our pain? I know it's not an easy choice and I know that some think it's not a choice and they can't help it. But, you can. If that makes you mad, I'm sorry. I do know that there are horrible circumstances and situations that are completely out of our control. I am not saying it would be easy or that you should be positive and uplifting in those situations. I am more talking about our daily circumstances. I can hear it now "But you don't know my circumstances or how hard my life is. You wouldn't say that if you were going through what I am going through." And, you may be right, I don't know your circumstances and I don't know what you are going through. And, maybe if I was walking in your shoes, my views would be different. But, I have also had my share of hard and difficult circumstances, we can choose to learn from them or we can let them be the only things that we see. We can let those times define us and who we are, or we can learn from them and move on. I have learned from the situations that I have been in. I don't begrudge those circumstances because they have all shaped who I am today. I choose to be thankful (at least for this season). I am human and by no means perfect and I have no doubt I will drop back into being negative and complaining again. I just hope that I am able to see beyond my self to see what God is trying to do in my life at the time. Or, that some friend or family member will tell me that I am doing that, and draw me out of myself.