Heavy thoughts

Today started out just like every other day. Well, sort of. Matt and I have started a new routine of running/walking a mile 3 days a week and we did that this morning. But, other than that this day started out pretty routine and was flowing along smoothly.

 

And then it happened.

 

One of my children lied to me.

 

On purpose.

 

About the stupidest little thing.

 

And, I don't know what to do about that. It is eating me up.

I have tried so hard to instill in them that it is important to be truthful...NO.MATTER.WHAT. The punishment is going to be less if you are honest and own up to what you have done. Well, this child was lying and had the face to prove it. But, there was no way to really prove it. We both know this child is lying, but I can't completely prove it. I've also taught them that if they lie in the little things, they can't/won't be trusted to be truthful in the big things. I want to trust them and believe what they tell me.

 

This is one of the verses I have worked on teaching the kids "There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to Him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community." Proverbs 6:16-19.

 

I mean, come on, the Lord hates lying and not only is it in the same sentence as someone who murders, but it's mentioned twice!!! I am by no means perfect (and this is not about me), I have made my share of mistakes and I have lied. But, I have repented for those past mistakes and I work very hard on trying to be truthful in everything that I do and say.

 

I am having a hard time letting this go. I can't punish the child for lying, nor can I catch the child in this particular lie. If I punish this child without them saying that they did in fact lie, I am making them think I don't believe them and then they will feel like I won't believe them, in other situations, no matter what they say. It's a trust issue. Plus, I have been punished for things that I have not done and I don't want to do that to my children.

 

It surprises me, to some extent that this child would lie to me. I have taught them and continue to teach them that if we sin and do not repent and were to die before we have made things right we will go to hell. Maybe that sounds harsh to you, and maybe it is. But, we have to teach them right and wrong and that what they do has consequences. We are not guaranteed tomorrow and we don't know when we will die, we need to live without regrets, and as if this was our last minutes on earth. This is such a sticky point and so many people would disagree with me on it, but I think we coddle our children to much. We let them get away with too much, but God expects more from us. He has given us the ten commandments and the Bible for a reason. We are not to excuse away our mistakes and sins. It's very clear that we are supposed to repent, confess, and then move on.

 

I would hope that if you see me or my children doing stuff that is blatantly against what we, as Christians are supposed to do, you would tell us it's wrong. Hold us accountable. I try to keep my kids accountable and I want people to keep me accountable too. Not everyone wants to be held accountable or told that they are doing wrong. I know this. I have lost a friendship over this sticky point.  But, I do want to be accountable and I want there to be no doubt that when I die I will go to heaven. I want that for my kids, my loved ones, my friends, I want you all to be there.

 

Now, back to the point I made a few minutes ago, about sinning/lying etc. and then dying before we've had the chance to repent. I have had people say that they don't believe that. If we've always done what we are supposed to do and then make a mistake and die before we repent, they think we would still go to heaven. Maybe we would. I don't know for sure. But, what if??? What if we wouldn't? I don't want there to be a shadow of a doubt.

 

I have not always been bold in my faith.

 

I still don't think I am as bold as God wants me to be. But, I am working on it and it starts at home. I can't coddle my children in faith related issues. I don't want there to be what ifs. I want to know that I have done everything that God has commanded me to do and that I have taught them everything they need to know and do to get to heaven. Their spiritual walk has really weighed heavy on me for quite a while now.

 

And, then this.

 

A lie.

 

Over something stupid and certainly not worth lying over.

 

I just want to do the right thing and raise them right.

I will pray that this child will be convicted and confess this sin. I pray that I can let it go, knowing that I am doing all I should be doing.

 

What are your thoughts? How would you handle it? Feel free to weigh in.

 

"Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy." Proverbs 28:13